Poetry by Zoee Randall

What's Left

Being in high school is supposed to be the best time of our lives.
Growing up, we’re told not to rush, that time will pass within the blink of an eye, that before we know it, we’ll be adults, wishing we could be young again.
For the longest time, I believed this; we all believed this.
The idea that our lives would be bright and filled with fun as we went through high school was a bittersweet tale we all believed.
Instead, the moment I turned 14, I got a job, I started going to college, and I joined so many clubs and extracurriculars that I can hardly remember them all anymore. 
So many of us, so many teens, we wake up before dawn to go to a school that consistently challenges our resolve.
Despite the obstacles we’re faced with, we continue to smile and talk in the halls as the mountains of homework grow taller and steeper every minute.
When the day is over, and it is finally time to rest, we go to work, or we go to practice for a sport that breaks us down mentally and physically.
I can’t remember the last time I went to bed before midnight. I can't remember a time when I didn’t spend so many hours into the night doing homework and lesson upon lesson while my parents slept soundly down the hall.
We constantly work and train and cram, hoping it will be enough, dreaming of the day when we are set free to choose our own paths.
Because it’s not our choice, sure, we can say yes or no-
But we have expectations, standards, and ideals we have to meet, designed by our parents and our teachers.
We’re supposed to be brilliant and strong; we’re supposed to surpass and overcome every hurdle that we face.
But what’s left? 
What are we left with after everything we do to succeed?
What's left for us?
For me, what's left is 10 alarms to wake up in the morning.
What's left is showering 9 minutes before I’m supposed to leave because my legs couldn’t carry me to the shower the night before.
What's left is fighting for 8 hours to stay awake, to stay happy, and to stay brilliant.
What's left is 7-hour shifts at work, remembering all I have to do when I get home at 9:30 at night.
What's left are 6 friends that I have to show up for. Making the time to hang out and be a fun person to be around.
What's left is 5 classes to stay on top of, keeping my grades up so I can afford to go to college with my family's small income.
What's left is 4 hours of sleep, trying to make it enough, stretching every minute a little longer before the cycle starts over. 
What's left is 3 balanced meals a day, trying to make time, yet always failing and having to ignore the emptiness in my stomach.
What's left is 2 parents, confused and concerned as to why they never see their child anymore, frustrated that I’m getting home so late and never leaving the house on time.
What's left is 1 teenager, burnt out and lonely, because it feels like no one understands what it is to be a young adult in high school.

Artist Statement

Thank you all for taking the time to read this poem I wrote about my life as a working student who is also doing college at 16. The reason I chose to present a piece of poetry is that, for as long as I can remember, words have always held an importance to me beyond their standard meanings. Poetry, especially, has always interested me. When I joined the writing team at my high school, I further explored how poetry can mean many different things to many different people. Poetry is subjective. So, when I wrote this poem for you all today, I wrote it for everyone to interpret it differently. My goal as a daughter and student isn't to give you directions or ideas of how to better the education system, but instead to hopefully inspire ideas of your own on how to help. As students, parents, and educators, it is up to us to shape the future in a way that will benefit our small space in the world and help it grow to be better. Thank you all again so much.

- Zoee Randall, Kent City High School